Day 5 of ???

Mood: Terrible (and i think that i'm too girly and 小气 to be able to say all these things out. i really deserve a tight slap on my face. stupid mingli)

ok. fair's ended. but something new is coming up again so go ahead ba. i'll find some way to spend my time. perhaps get a perm job and work my guts out. not a bad idea at all. do you know that intially i didnt want to find a job yet cause i wanted to spend more time with you? cause i know once i get a perm job, tts it. i wouldnt have much time to acc you anymore. but seems that you are now the busy one with all the jobs instead. morale of the story? i should go get a job too. since you have no time for me also. yea, i think i should.

i understand the fact that you said its more practical to get a job rather than stay at home and relax. but i chose to sacrifice my income instead. you know why? cause i wanted to dedicate more time for you 1st. money going out but none coming in is not favourable for me. but still, i never said anything. cause to me, spending time with you, giving you my time is more valuable than money. i'm not saying you are wrong. you are 100% correct and i think you make more sense than me. maybe i'm over reacting.

everything that i've said is maybe because i miss you too much, so badly that i think its affecting the way i think and talk. too many days of seperation from you is making me go nuts and it caused my mood to be super lousy. so if in anyway i offended you, made you upset or anything, i'm very sorry. but still, i need to make things known. i dont want you to think why are you going out to work for money while i stay home and relax. i need you to know the reason why i'm not working.

maybe you'll say i'm petty but i was a little bit upset when you didnt send me a good nite msg last nite when i sent you one. perhaps you slept before reading it but at least send me something in the mornin when you read the sms? just a sms with really make me feel better you know that? it it really so difficult just send a sms? or am i asking too mch?

if i didnt call you juz now den u dun intend to contact me? i know you're busy and stuff, i really understand. but do you know how it feels like to sit at home whole day and wonder how are you coping now, how are your legs already, are you too tired, are you getting pushed around by the crowd? whole day i dont dare to sms you, not even once. you know why? cause you said your sales is poor. so i tot maybe i dun sms you and let you use the time to reply me to go and get more sales will be better. all i need is just a sms to know that you are ok and well. maybe i'm making myself worried for you for nothing. you're able to take care of yourself when i'm not around. but to me, protecting you means more than anything. that's why i always want to know that all is well for you. not that i worry too mch. just that you mean too much to me i dont want anything bad to happen to you.

我一面写着这些话，一面在流泪。
我看我应该是太过思念你了，所以正个人变得怪怪的。


对不起，我爱你